you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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