My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dear god my vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
