The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
