THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize