thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize