Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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