I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
