All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i love accidental penises.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
