So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you still have your period?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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