When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
