I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
