Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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