so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
