you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My bed smells like the plague
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
