dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
