stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
