Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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