HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
