We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
