You can't special order awesome
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
