is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
