he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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