Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
