Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
