see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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