I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think your dad took our porno
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
