She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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