I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
