If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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