I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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