Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
