Plan B is the new Plan A
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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