Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
