She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
