I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
