You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
