I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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