how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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