I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
