We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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