OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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