Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We were destined to go to rehab together
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We're too hungover to prance.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
