This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
