Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
