He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
