Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize