There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
