Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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