we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
