His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
