I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
