shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
