In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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