I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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