With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
