You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
