i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
