Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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