apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
